A song about piscinas

Did ever syllables sound meaner,
More pinched and starveling than piscina?
Th' unwitting schoolgirl starts askance
At its suggestive sybillants.
But every antiquarian gains
Thrills from these over-ornate drains.
So blandly on the guide-books' pages
Piscinas triumph through the ages.
'E. E. Piscina in south wall
(Note damaged fresco of St Paul)’
‘Piscina (Dec.) in northern aisle—
A fine example of the style’
‘Piscina (Perp.) in Walcote's Chantry'
(We're getting on quite well now, aren't we?)
Piscina, richly carved and gilt
(In 1902 the church was built)
Piscinas cusped, piscinas crocketted,
All neatly listed, named and docketted.
Piscinas that are really stoups.
Piscinas carved with saintly groups.
Here is a church, new, stark and bare—
But look! A Perp. piscina's there,
Cast out, perchance as Popish mockery,
It turned up on the Rector's rockery.
Anything else may be ignored—
The pulpit with its sounding-board
The Gothick pews of 1808
The Georgian communion plate—
In all the guide-books in their stead
Piscinas raise their ugly head.
Piscinas never can slip by
Th' ecclesiologist's sharp eye.
Piscinas never can be missed
From their incredibly dull list.
Lord! What a waste of printer's ink
All emptied down a ritual sink!

⋜1939

NOTES

• Guido Papers, MS, no date. Loose in back of collection Songs from the battlefield, so likely dated ?1939